Alright, so here’s the deal-there’s this cheeky little trio of cocktails called The Bastard Trilogy of cocktails, and they’re basically your fast pass to flavor town… with a side trip to the afterlife. You start with the Suffering Bastard, work your way to the Dying Bastard, then if you’re feeling brave (or reckless), finish with the Dead Bastard. Yeah, they get stronger the deeper you go. Like a boozy version of a choose-your-own-adventure book where the ending is always slightly unhinged.
And if you find the word Bastard offensive, you can just replace it with ‘Bar Steward’ as they did in Cairo during the WWII when this drink was first created.
What I love about these drinks? They walk that fine line between bold and balanced. You get the muscle of dark spirits cut with citrus that hits like a splash of cool water-unexpected, a little wild, but somehow it all just… works. It’s the kind of cocktail that makes your taste buds go, “Wait, what was that?” then immediately ask for more.
Pull these out at your next get – together and you’ll instantly be the person who knows a little too much about fun drinks-and that’s a good thing. They’re simple enough to whip up without breaking a sweat, but still taste like you planned ahead (even if you didn’t).
Whether you’re hanging with the crew on a chill Friday night or looking to spice up your next rooftop hang, this trilogy delivers. Tart, sweet, a little chaotic – just like the best stories.
How to Make one of Bastard Trilogy of Cocktails
The basic Suffering Bastard cocktail features a harmonious blend of Brandy and Gin and fresh citrus, plus a dash of bitters and ginger beer, creating a drink that’s both smooth and invigorating. The taste is complex yet approachable, with a pleasant aftertaste that invites another sip.
The Dying bastard includes and extra part of bourbon and the Dead Bastard takes it a step further with an extra part of Rum.
The Bastard Trilogy of Cocktails – Recipes for all 3
Basic Ingredients (Suffering Bastard)
- 1 part Brandy (or Cognac)
- 1 part Gin
- 1/2 part Lime Juice
- 2 dashes Angostura bitters
- 4 parts Ginger Beer
- Ice cubes
- Mint leaves and orange slice to garnish
For Dying Bastard add:
- 1 part Bourbon
For Dead Bastard add:
- 1 part Bourbon
- 1 part Rum
Instructions: Suffering Bastard
- Combine the Brandy, Gin, fresh Lime juice, and angostura bitters in a cocktail shaker filled with ice.
- Shake well until chilled, about 15 seconds.
- Strain the mixture into a chilled cocktail glass or tiki mug.
- Garnish with an orange slice and mint leaves.
Instructions: Dying Bastard
See above and add Bourbon during step 1.
Instructions: Dead Bastard
See above and add Bourbon and Rum during step 1.
Prep Times
- Prep Time: 5 minutes
- Total Time: 5 minutes
Nutrition Information
- Servings: 1 cocktail
- Calories: 180-300 kcal depending on choice
- Fat: 0g
- Protein: 0g
- Carbohydrates: 8g
To pin for later:
If you liked trying any of the Bastard Trilogy of Cocktails, maybe you should try a Slippery Nipple or a Sex on the Beach (if you are after some entertaining names!)
